Complicated boy problem. Experienced girls and boys, what should I do?

Ok, I'm 16 and he is 17. We live in the same dormitory, at a boarding school.


He's really hot, buff and taller than me. He has a cool sense of humor, and is a lot like me personality wise.


People say I'm quite pretty, and I'm tall and slim.





I'm into music, art and writing. He's into computers and sports.


Seriously, you don't see many people with his determination and control. He has a general aura about him that


I like, very cool and in control. At a school sponsored trip to the beach, we broke curfew and talked for about 4 hours in the dark.We talked about deep and personal things. Private things I've never told anyone before slipped out, and I think he


did that too.


So now we're back at school, and we some have similar interests. Our music tastes basically mesh, and we're fans of


this flippin awesome anime- Bleach. Our dorm is pretty much filled with younger grades, 8th grade and below. So we should hang out more. Also, we're both night people so we're up at about the same times.





Obviously I'm crushing this boy. He's hot and really cool, so why don't I make a move?


The problem is, he totally liked my older sister. She's also into art, and we look kind of similar. She was a real flirt and led everone on.





He liked her so much he would buy her art books and get her flowers. She would smile and flirt with the next person. He was gone for a whole year, and she has graduated. I really like him, and I get vibes he's into me as well. But I really worry he likes me for her.





My sister and I have similar personalities (except I'm more reserved, not very flirty) and similar interests. We like the same music, the same movies. We're both into the same sports and all. We also look basically similar. ( although she's shorter, dark hair and eyes. I'm taller and blue eyed, dark hair)


We're not twins, though, and most of our similarities are personality traits.





But I worry that if I hand him my heart, he'll be liking her through me. I don't think it's fair to me.





We're in different grades, and now he spends a suspicious amount of time hanging out with boys from my class. He has made me really jealous before. And I like his best friend a lot, which he's obviously jealous about.


His friend and I are in yearbook together, so we're together hours after school. The friend is easier to talk to, so I laugh and smile with him. I like him as a friend ONLY. I can't stop talking to other people. This cannot stop my life.


I feel I'm sending the boy I like mixed messages, though?





We have moved into a strange part of our relationship. It's like a bird mating dance, where you display yourself and shout out ';I'm available, and check out who ELSE likes me!'; He recently changed his screensaver to a picture of him and his prom date. Then he left without logging off, so I had to stare at the two of them. I retaliated by writing on an Xs facebook page, frequently. I don't mean to play him for this guy, but he's someone we talked about at the beach. It's stupid and childish, but seems to be happening.





So what should I do. How obvious should I be about telling him I like him?





The problem is, I make efforts to talk to him, start conversations and all. But it's like he doesn't really try. I realize he might be waiting for me


to do something to show I like him, but I need some response also. He has offered to drive me to my piano lessons, so we'd be alone together. Sometimes he comes out when I'm doing homework alone and sits quietly.





What are some subtle flirty things I can do so he will know, but I'm not screaming it off rooftops? Flirty suggestions, please.


Also, do you think I should do anything? Do you think he likes me for my sister? We're very different, but very similar.


I'm much more serious, more like him in personality.





I DONT want him as just a friend, I want more than that. I know he's more than a jock, I've seen a deep and beautiful part of him.





What the flip should I do? What the flip do you think is going on?Complicated boy problem. Experienced girls and boys, what should I do?
One of the best pieces of advice you can get about dating, as a girl, is to never be anyone's sloppy seconds.





Now, there are of course exceptions to the rule... If this is a guy that you honestly feel something real and deep towards, you can approach this, but very slowly. Very, very, very slowly. You need to let him prove to you that he likes you for you and is not retaliating against your sister or like you said, just liking you because you're similiar.





Watch out for classic signs that he's not over her, like him having only negative things to say about her.





Also, it would be in your best interest if you refused to humor his childish games like putting his date's picture up online... Do not respond by doing something equally as childish. The most important thing in this situation is for you to demand respect before blindly following your heart/hormones. Take your time with it, and do not lower yourself to playing games.





It sounds like he probably already knows you like him. If you want subtle flirtation ideas still, try holding his gaze a little longer than is comfortable. Smile at him. Don't do anything over the top or that doesn't feel natural. If you really like this guy as much as you say you do, your natural actions/words/demeanor around him will express that. Let him come to you!!! If he doesn't, try to get over it. You can't make someone like you, and the sister aspect of it might make things too awkward for him to handle or he might have similiar reasons to not pursuing you.





Did he sleep with your sister? I have 5 sisters and that would be a deal breaker for me, not matter how in love I was with a guy. Complicated boy problem. Experienced girls and boys, what should I do?
way to much to read you need to make a long story short
I know plenty of sisters who have dated the same guy. Some of them have even married. Just because he wanted to date your sister, he has been gone for a year, and your sister has moved on. I would not let the bother me unless your sister still has feelings for him, then move on with your life and just be friends with him. If you are going to go for him move slow. Let him take you to piano lessons if he is someone you can trust. Talk to him in the hallways, wave, say hi, or something every time you see him. You don't always have to stop and put on a show though. That may make you look to vulnerable. Good Luck!
So you have a point about your sister. I had a similar problem growing up. I think you shouldn't dwell on things you don't know for sure. Saying that....why are you sure he left his screen up to torment you?





My suggestion....stop playing games with him. Don't assume he is doing something with ulterior motives. Go about talking with your friends (guys and girls) and concentrating on school. You can do flirty things but I don't think he will make a move any quicker that way. I suggest a quick comment about how you two should go out sometime and then leave things to him. He can then follow up or not. And stay away from him if he gets jealous just because you are doing normal school and friend things with guys.